unconsciously

My heart felt like it was being tugged downward by an anchor and all I can do to ease the pain was to breathe the cigarette smoke exhaled by the people around me.

Then my mind says, “Give me a cigarette.”

When I imagine that big window overlooking the busy streets of the city with me sitting on the window pane, hair all tied up in a bun, holding a cigarette, it is during these times. These times when I feel like an anchor has been tied to my heart.

I have tried countless times to counter the current to reach you but all it does is exhaust me. 

It is rewarding at times, but sometimes feels like it is completely pointless. 

Sometimes I feel like letting the current overpower me. Bring me to the still waters and let me rest. Leave you alone to get out of the pit you are stuck in on your own.

But then I imagine houses and skylines and sunsets and cruises and my subconscious tells me that the person I would want to be with in those places is you.

Then the cigarette is gone and there is newfound strength to fight the current to reach you and I pray to God for this strength to stay with me for a little while more and I pray to God that you stay with me until there is current no more.

9 Notes | Posted on June 18, 2014

I let it go. It’s like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home.

— Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of the Orange (via taupestry)


I have not cried this much for the past two years.

Last time I did, I told myself never again.

I guess now we know it was all bullshit.

10 Notes | Posted on June 10, 2014


My life’s become as vapid as 
a night out in Los Angeles, 
and I just wanna stay in bed
and hold you like I used to,
and know that I am home, 
so darling, if you love me,
would you let me know?

124 Notes | Posted on May 25, 2014

It’s all butterflies when it starts
but falls apart
on the one year mark

you ask yourself where it went wrong,
but there are no answers,
not even when you thought you found them
when he sang you that song.

I told you not to fall in love,
It will seem great and make you feel
like you’re on the top of the world,
but over the course of time it dries and expires,
and you will hurt over the things you dearly hold.

17 Notes | Posted on May 25, 2014

Anonymous asked:
I suddenly realize this while looking through your posts about C. It's that you two could be soulmates or something considering you two possess that same perfectly imperfect rabbit teeth. Haha! Stay strong you guys xx

And the big forehead. Hehe, thank you! :)

2 Notes | Posted on May 24, 2014

I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone.

— To be good, to save nothing  (via brighteryellow)

217228 Notes | Posted on May 24, 2014 Source: brighteryellow / eletheowl

Nothing soothes you.

I have tried the incense sticks,
the Chamomile lotion,
the jasmine tea, the silence.

There is nothing to be done for you.
I am ready to forgive myself for that.

I am ready to stop viewing your
sadness as a failing on my part.

— Donna-Marie Riley, Go Gently About Your Love   (via ismiamora)

978 Notes | Posted on May 24, 2014 Source: five--a--day / eletheowl

shutter-cache asked:
"the pressure of having to make the most out of every moment, the moments have already gone" This line really got to me. :( You are such a great writer and I absolutely adore your blog!

Thank you so much! :) <3 

5 Notes | Posted on May 21, 2014